Friday, December 21, 2012

There is always a catch! Life is a catch! I suggest you catch it while you can!

Hey y'all, Big Daddy Qun a.k.a. Something Awful dot com forums poster Shadow Isaac here with the blog you've all been demanding.

Posted in mind-November an unassuming thread entitled "Darker. Sexier. Better. Let's Play Dragon Age 2!" telling the story of amoral wisecracking alcoholic Valerie Hawke and her rise to power in the bustling metropolis of Kirkwall quickly took the Let's Play subforum by storm, eventually racking up over 6,000 posts, 750,000 views and 900 votes. Unfortunately a candle that burns twice as bright burns half as long, as the thread was unjustly snuffed out by the highly qualified and responsive moderation of Something Awful, who cited "low-effort," "derailing," and "shitty posting" as their justifications for gassing the thread and banning people who kept bringing it up or questioning the decision. Far be it for me to question the decisions of the crack moderation staff of the most troll-free forum on the internet, so instead I have created this blog to share this epic with the world at large and create a safe zone for discussion of RPG Mechanics, Mass Effect 3 spoilers and David Gaider's slash fanfiction.

I'll be trying to keep this update at the top of the blog with an index linking to each individual post, as I doubt anyone's going to want to go through several hundred updates in reverse order. Enjoy the saga of the Champion of Kirkwall and please bear with me, I haven't used blogspot in roughly 4 years.

And Here My Troubles Began
The Legend Begins
This is the Tutorial pt. 1
This is the Tutorial pt. 2
This is the Tutorial pt. 3
INTERLUDE: On Dialogue
This is the Tutorial: The End
Enter Dwarfman
The Dalish Mistake pt.1
The Dalish Mistake pt.2
The Dalish Mistake: Epilogue
The Plot, Much Like My Vomit, Thickens
Desperately Seeking Storyline
RENEGADE INTERRUPT
Finally, It's Happened To Me
My Faggot Son
Love And Death In Lowtown
SQUEEEEE
Big Gaider Is Watching
Get Out Of Here A.N.D.E.R.S. pt.1
Get Out Of Here A.N.D.E.R.S. pt.2
Get Out Of Here A.N.D.E.R.S. pt.3
The Bloodmage Jihad: There Is No Head Writer But Gaider And Hepler Is His Prophet
Introducing The Bone Pit
Hawke's Gotta Get Paid: Part The First 
God Is Empty Just Like Me
YOU HAVE COME TO A WORLD CALLED GOR
A Plague Burned Upon My Very Harddrive pt.1
A Plague Burned Upon My Very Harddrive pt.2
I'm Valerie Hawke And This Is My Favorite Whorehouse In The Citadel
Hawke's Gotta Get Paid: Part The Second
My Disease Is Doing Push-Ups In The Parking Lot
David Gaider's From Hell pt.1
David Gaider's From Hell pt.2
Kirkwall Babylon
Permabanned Pedophile The Eye Of Andraste pt.1
Permabanned Pedophile The Eye Of Andraste pt.2
I Hope You Like to Fuck pt.1
I Hope You Like To Fuck pt.2
The Bloodmage Whore Sage pt.1
The Bloodmage Whore Saga pt.2
The Bloodmage Whore Saga pt.3
The Bloodmage Whore Saga pt.4
The Bloodmage Whore Saga pt.5
The Bloodmage Whore Saga: Epilogue
Kirkwall: Life On The Street
I Don't Eat, I Don't Sleep, I Do Nothing But Think Of You
Balls Deep pt.1
Balls Deep pt.2
Balls Deep pt.3
Balls Deep pt.4
Balls Deep pt.5
Second Act, Shit Is Still Wack
The Hawke's Nest
What A Man, What A Man, What A Mighty Blow Man
Merrillcide: Life On The Squee
A.N.D.E.R.S. - Call Of Scriptycrap
The Qunari Gas Chamber pt.1
The Qunari Gas Chamber pt.2
The Qunari Gas Chamber pt.3
The Qunari Gas Chamber: Epilogue
Stop Right There, Criminal Scum!
INTERLUDE: Slowbeef Doesn't Get "Jokes"
The Emancipation Trashmob Annihilation
Erase Myself, Cross Out What I've Become
I Did It All For The Nookie
Hello, 911? This Sexual Romance Is Over.
In Dreams I Snark With You pt.1
In Dreams I Snark With You pt.2
In Dreams I Like Big Butts pt.3
In Dreams I Snark With You pt.4
In Dreams I Snark With You: Epilogue
I'm Sowwy
Sorry About Trying To Kill You, Wanna Fuck?
Goddamn I Want To Fuck+Cum In That Bioware Babe
The Valerie Hawke Get Your Friends Laid Show pt.1
The Valerie Hawke Get Your Friends Laid Show pt.2
The Valerie Hawke Get Your Friends Laid Show pt.3
The Valerie Hawke Get Your Friends Laid Show pt.4
The Valerie Hawke Get Your Friends Laid Show pt.5
The Backwardsteve Marauders
Aveline... Loves To Fuck???
Is This The Real Life?
Up Against The Wall
The Ecstasy Of Trash
Do The Bartrand
My Little Bartrand: Fratricide Is Magic
Dark Rumblings In Weimar Kirkwall
Die Tranquillosung pt.1
Die Tranquillosung pt.2
Die Tranquillosung pt.3
Mirror Mirror On The Wall, Whose Head Is Most Nommable Of All?
My Clan Packed Up To Move Without Even Telling Me (self.RAOP)
Valterral More Like Failterral
Retard Moe: It's Not Just For ADTRW Anymore!
Rolling In The Deep Roads pt.1
Rolling In The Deep Roads pt.2
The Qidnapped Qunari pt.1: The Greatest Update Ever Told
The Qidnapped Qunari pt.2
The Qidnapped Qunari pt.3
Truly, Madly, Deeply
Let's Frame A Templar!
Bloodmages Up, Hoes Down pt.1
Bloodmages Up, Hoes Down: pt 2
Bloodmages Up, Hoes Down: pt.3
PUA: The Marethari Method
Who Needs DPS When You're DTF?
Loss.jpg pt.1
Loss.jpg pt.2
Loss.jpg pt.3
Loss.jpg: Epilogue
Shonky Business at The Bone Pit
And Now Some Awkward Touchy-Feely Crap
I Love My Dead Gay Trash Mob
An "Unexpected" Development pt.1
An "Unexpected" Development pt.2
The Qunari Qonundrum pt.1
The Qunari Qonundrum pt.2
The Qunari Qonundrum: Epilogue
INTERMISSION: Act 2 Deleted Scenes
Occupy Hightown
The Vapidcaust
A Touching Family Reunion pt.1
A Touching Family Reunion pt.2
This Will Go Somewhere Eventually
Goddamn You Half-Antivan Elves Do It To Me Everytime
Cure Yourself By Rubbing Feces Into The Wounds
This Charade Packs A Wallop!
This Epilogue Is A Charade
Who Needs Game Design?
But Thou Must!
Massive Wyrm Penetrates Bone Pit
I'm So Ashamed Of This Reference
Hawke The Bounty Hunter pt.1
Hawke The Pussy Hunter pt.2
Hawke The Bounty Hunter pt.3
Hawke The Bounty Hunter: Epilogue
My Alchemical Romance
This Is David Gaider's Pet Character
Dude, No. This Is Serious. I Just Sharded.
How Is Trashmob Formed?
The Kirkwall Tea Party Is NOT A Hate Group
The Earth Died Gigglesqueeing pt.1
The Earth Died Gigglesqueeing pt.2
Merrill & Lynch: Doglord Days
You Got Mage In My Templar! You Got Templar In My Mage! pt.1
You Got Mage In My Templar! You Got Templar In My Mage! pt.2
You Got Mage In My Templar! You Got Templar In My Mage! pt.3
You Got Mage In My Templar! You Got Templar In My Mage! Epilogue
Where Were You When The Towers Fell?
We'll Put A Boot Up Your Ass, It's The Kirkwallian Way
The Thin Red Life Meter
This Is Our Last Dance, This Is Ourselves... Under Gaider
STOP! Templar Time
A Pox On Both Your Factions!
Bitch I Look Like Goku
So Long And Thanks For All The Trash
The Gigglesquee Social Club (Fanart)