Wednesday, December 7, 2011

The Bloodmage Whore Saga pt.5

With that uncomfortable touchy-feely moment out of the way, we head into the depths of darktown with murder on the mind.
Wait, let me guess: a bunch of shades and skeletons that are gonna go down like a bunch of fucking chumps?

And we head down the stairs to find a shirtless dude fossilized in glowing magical jizz.

I'm gonna be honest: don't really see most of you making too much money as prostitutes.

Especially you.

Yeah, what's with these people being unable to turn down possession from the homicidal embodiment of an abstract concept like desire or pride or... hmm, justice?

No, you don't seem to understand: I'm going to kill them without breaking a sweat either.

I'm pretty sure this plan was flawed from the start because the Knight-Commander's already crazy.

YOU'RE. STANDING. RIGHT. NEXT. TO. HIM.

He's not even dead yet, come on.

I mean, seriously, even a sloth demon would have the sense not to wear that lipstick.

They probably should have tried to "kill the vessels" outright, because we demolished them like Amy
Winehouse at an all-you-can-snort cocaine party.

Flaming blue crotch? Might want to get that looked at too, who knows what's been going around at the Blooming Rose.

I wish. We've still got 2 more acts to go.

What's that? "All fucking mages must fucking hang"? Thanks for your input, Fenris.

And then Anders looked Keran right in the eyes and shouted "FUS RO DAH"!

You know, I can think of several occasions where this talent might have come in handy, but how thoughtful of you to only tell us about it now.

People told me this too, but I didn't listen...

They'd kill you.

Pretty considerate, I'm sure they'll be really interested in hearing how you're doing before they kill you.

Yeah, thanks for the advice, Anders, I'll definitely take that under consideration.

 Ainsley

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