Sunday, December 4, 2011

The Bloodmage Whore Saga pt.3

And now that Wilmod's dead, the epic bloodmage whore quest continues!
"I mean, who knows what kind of disease he had to get to turn it purple! And indecent exposure on top of that?"

But the main things she's bumped into in Kirkwall are raiders and dog lords...

Pfft, you're not a member of the Cullen family. where's the porcelain skin that glitters in the sunlight?

Yeah, just 2 Templar bros, chillin' at the whorehouse, runnin' train on some skanks. No gay shit. (Between this and Ninette, The Blooming Rose is basically the #1 recruiting sight for blood mage victims at this point. Probably don't want to advertise that.)

You don't have to get so excited about it, Valerie.

So knowing the seductive allure the feminine form can hold for our male party members, we stop by the Viscount's to recruit Aveline and Bethany to replace Anders and Fenris. Then realizing that we should probably spare Merrill's innocent naivete, Valerie decides to swap her out for Isabela. It's not like Isabela isn't comfortable in a brothel anyway.
I thought you were worried that Cullen was going to shut you down?

You know, leaving the books out in the open on the middle of the bar seems like it would open up a lot of customers to potential blackmail attempts, but what do I know?

Hey, Valerie's from lowtown thank you very much!

Actually, I do. It's for... a project.

Not from the purple haired butterface whose name I've already forgotten. Gotcha.

around this point, Isabela remarks on Aveline's recent promotion:
Isabela: Well. "Captain." Can I call you captain? You can call me captain.
Aveline: I won't be doing that.


"Also, did Wilmod by chance have a purple dick and tumors all over his body?"

Actually the clients tend to prefer a rusty trombone from her while she dresses up like Flemeth.

Sounds good to me *uninstalls this game and plays E.Y.E: Divine Cybermancy instead*

Hahaha get it? Isabela's a huge slut! (don't worry if you didn't get it, they'll repeat it constantly in case you missed it the last time.)

Okay, if it'll get this dialogue sequence over with, fine.

I seriously don't remember her name.

 Wait, what?!

The books were out in the open on the middle of the bar.

Just look at Isabela in the background not even remotely giving a shit.

You've got more chance of getting what you want if you say please.

Strangely, it works anyway.
Oh well look here I've still got this knife in my hand, what ever shall I do with it?

"I'll take 'airhole a whore' for $420, Alex."

And then we took her wig off and found that shockingly, she was actually Morinth from mass effect 2!

Actually we just found a note about blood mage whores.
And with that last witticism we left the dead slut for the janitor to clean up.

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