Saturday, December 3, 2011

I Hope You Like To Fuck pt.2

So now it's time to make our way to Hightown and watch Isabela's shapely "back"side.
I don't like this (game) either.

Yeah, let's ignore the fact that the only other places to go are the fucking Kirkwall slums and sewers because they only designed 4 areas for this game.

Ignoring how fuckin' chronicles of riddickulous those tits are, let's focus on her hilariously impractical skintight vest, which is apparently held together by 5 thin strips of fabric.

Valerie and Isabela pose side by side as Fenris the glowing blue anime ghost races after a new bandit in hopes that it's a mage.

Oh cool, an excuse to recycle an environment from Anders' quest to rescue Karl! Nice to know Bioware's got a lot of variety with these companion quests.

We head to the chantry and on the way we're attacked by a trash mob of raiders.
Notice how despite using a bow at long range, Valerie's weapon is splattered with the blood of her dead enemies. It's this kind of attention to detail that puts Bioware at the forefront of immersive roleplaying experiences.

Best way to avoid that would be to not give the assassins a bunch of notes indicating where you're hiding.

I'm not even paying attention to the dialogue because holy shit do you see those things?

Such a convincing explanation.

See, just being a smuggler wouldn't be enough of a motivation for you to go after this guy because, let's face it, Hawke's a total fucking criminal. but a slaver? Whoa boy, that's bad!

Valerie has no goddamn idea what's going on here, but that's not gonna stop her from quippin'!

A reasonable discussion between adults?


Fun Fact: even after we killed Hayder, 2 more waves of archers spawned because i guess the fight was supposed to be longer? This is a common problem because half the "bosses" in this game are a complete fucking joke.

Oh come on Valerie, like you would have done anything different?

Isabela recognizes that the less dialogue the better.

Or we could kill him. That works too.

Actually, Valerie just figures that the relic's worth money and if we tag along she might be able to steal it.

It's pretty awesome how Hawke is apparently so trustworthy that people are ready to make her their business partner and trusted confidant within 15 minutes of meeting her.

Oh, I can think of a few things you could do for me...

DTF! DTF! D! T! F!

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