This thread is no longer acceptable.
It veers off topic more than a drunk fishtails on a back country road. Posting is crap, effort is flaccid, and frankly the LP itself defines mediocrity in new and tepid ways. Much like Dragon Age 2, this thread is filler. It is white noise. It is a radio tuned to an obscure AM channel playing day opera radio serials in a language you've never heard. It makes sense only because it speaks the universal lingua franca of failure. How fitting.
Saturday, December 31, 2011
The Valerie Hawke Get Your Friends Laid Show pt.4
It's New Year's Eve, and to celebrate, I'm going out to a bar with some of my closest friends.
VALERIE HAWKE AND GUARDSMAN DONNIC!
Are y'all ready for this? It's date night, motherfuckers!
And thus begins the most uncomfortable, awful segment of the game.
You're gonna be seeing this shot a lot if you actually play this sequence.
What a wacky comedy of misunderstandings this is!
FADE TO BLACK
Not content to hit rock bottom by herself, Valerie decides to fuel Donnic's descent into alcoholism as well.
Aww, she's ~shy~!
David Gaider proves his nuanced grasp of nonverbal communication.
FADE TO BLACK
Are you laffin' yet?
Are you fucking kidding me.
Yeah, you're welcome. Dick.
3 guesses what Valerie's response is, and the first 2 don't count!
As far away as possible from this quest, I hope.
Hey, hey now. I know you're depressed, but smothering yourself to death in Isabela's cavernous vagina is not the answer.
Okay, you're clearly doing it wrong because that's pretty much all Valerie and company do while killing highwaymen.
dang, Isabela sure is down to fuck! She likes to fuck so much that
she'll sleep with a guy she's not even attracted to, she's just so down
Because once he's gotten up in Isabela's guts there's gonna be no reason to go for Aveline.
Yeah, as I said, you're really not trying hard enough.