Friday, December 9, 2011
Balls Deep pt.2
GENTLEMEN, BEHOLD! The Deep Roads!
Look at all the resources Valerie's 50 gold bought!
Damn, look at those waist high rocks. We'll never be able to get over them! If only this game had some sort of jump function...
Pictured: David Gaider in the writers' room every time someone couldn't come up with a new way to call Isabela a whore.
Oh great, camping? What's next Bartrand, breaking out One Man Army and the noob tube?
No troll face? Bioware missed out on some epic memery ftw here.
I don't know, but I'm guessing you'll stand around doing nothing while Valerie does all the work for you anyways.
I'm gonna be honest with you, Bartrand: you're in a Bioware game. I'd be shocked and confused if you weren't an idiot.
The only reason you're along is because you ponied up the money he was too lazy to get.
"I'll take a look. If I come back posting, uploading screenshots, you'll know installing it was the wrong decision." -me as I loaded the .iso into Virtual Clone Drive.
Waa wahh, I hate the deep roads. Waa wahh, I lost my cat. Waa waahh, I'm possessed by the spirit of justice and can never love anyone. Is there anything you don't complain about?
No, you know what, it's cool. I'm completely numb at this point.
Thanks, Varric. Really reassuring.
And with that we descend into the Deep Roads. Along the way, Valerie and her party face many foes.
But none more formidable than the dreaded monstrous spider.
Upon slaying the foul beast, we collect our epic loot.
Uh-oh! Looks like Bethany's not feeling well! This subtle literary technique is called foreshadowing, and means that later, something unexpected and bad will happen.
Oh don't mind me, killing a mob of darkspawn just makes my ass itch.
Sandal has fallen prey to two of the most dreaded maladies, a combination of pc look and apelook.
Sandal hands Valerie a copy of his favorite P.O.D. single, in hopes that its combination of crunchy riffs and upbeat christian message will prove as inspiring in her fight against the darkspawn as it was for him.
You know what? Whatever. Fuck this.
And then we killed a dragon.