This thread is no longer acceptable.
It veers off topic more than a drunk fishtails on a back country road. Posting is crap, effort is flaccid, and frankly the LP itself defines mediocrity in new and tepid ways. Much like Dragon Age 2, this thread is filler. It is white noise. It is a radio tuned to an obscure AM channel playing day opera radio serials in a language you've never heard. It makes sense only because it speaks the universal lingua franca of failure. How fitting.
Thursday, December 1, 2011
So after ditching Ghyslain, Valerie is on her way down to lowtown to
look for the most disreputable pawnshop imaginable when all of a sudden
she hears an urgent whispering.
While I'm using incredibly awkward slang, I also hear that you can "get jiggy wit it" and "wax a chump like a candle."
It's not really so much "on the sly" as it is "Valerie murders every single possible witness".
Ah yes, I too recall the episode of Law and Order where Jack McCoy hired a dope smuggler for a "small but important task".
Cool, I'm gonna kill the fuck out of him.
Yeah, um, Valerie Hawke doesn't really do "alive" just FYI.
Valerie already has the Captain of the Guard turning a blind eye to her
murder sprees and occasionally even joining in, so I really don't think
she needs a Magistrate, but money's money.
No use in hiding in the dark, I'll hunt you down 'cause I'm the Hawke.
I'm the Hawke, The big bad Hawke.
So Valerie hasn't even made it more than a few steps from the Magistrate
when all of a sudden this juicy little piece runs up to her.
Honest, but hardly reassuring.
SPOILER: there will be
News to me. Nobody's mentioned "dark rumors" about the templars once so far in this game.
Okay Valerie, this really might not be a time for your attempts at "humor" right now.
Pfft, typical woman. Doesn't get a response on a text within 5 minutes
and starts freaking out about the future of the relationship, am I right
...for a price?
I hope you're ready to follow Valerie's descent into the seamy side of Kirkwall, because these questlines are fucking obscene!