This thread is no longer acceptable.
It veers off topic more than a drunk fishtails on a back country road. Posting is crap, effort is flaccid, and frankly the LP itself defines mediocrity in new and tepid ways. Much like Dragon Age 2, this thread is filler. It is white noise. It is a radio tuned to an obscure AM channel playing day opera radio serials in a language you've never heard. It makes sense only because it speaks the universal lingua franca of failure. How fitting.
This post sequence-breaks in the interest of wrapping up the quest
promptly, so Isabela's gonna be in some of the screenshots despite the
fact that I haven't recruited her yet.
So we head to the warehouse in search of some clues as to the missing slutwife.
Oh look, a mysterious mage.
The blood mage summons a bunch of shades and a desire demon, which is
basically a horned purple slut wearing the Venus suit from Dead or Alive
Xtreme Beach Volleyball, then he runs off while we kill them.
Thanks Fenris, remarkably insightful, can't wait to hear you whine more about mages.
Oh don't mind me, just keeping a magical rune design inside my bloody
burlap sack of dismembered body parts. Don't want to misplace it,
Yeah, let's just haul this bag of severed hands and bones around Kirkwall, nothing could possibly go wrong with this plan.
So we head over to the gallows and toss Emeric a bag of decaying limbs.
this guy is such a quitter; he hasn't even bothered to do forensic
analysis yet. Is this what passes for criminal investigations in
Kirkwall? Horatio Caine would never stand for this shoddy work.
Valerie is stunned into silence by the fact that someone has actually called her on her bullshit.
We flee the scene before we have to find out whether he meant the murders or our flippant disrespect for the dead.
Up next, let's check in with the world's greatest husband:
Um dude. Is your eye okay?
Wow. Way to let him down gently, Valerie.
Oh yeah, so leave Hawke with something that will link her to Ninette's death instead. Real considerate. Asshole.
That's cool, I have arrangements to make too. Namely, finding a store that'll let me pawn evidence in a murder case.
So as we walk out of the brothel, we notice a familiar face:
That's right, it's our old friend Athenril!
And now: Hawke's gotta get paid, part 2
Silver? Bitch I can get silver off a corpse, you best be paying gold.
Yeah, the elf may be attempting to jew me, but money's money.
As we leave, Merrill asks Anders how Ser Pounce-a-lot got knighted.
Ha! Ha! I'm using the anachronistic pop culture reference!
No but there was a pop tart and a rainbow and
Then once we get to the docks, Merrill strikes up a conversation with Anders about the Grey Wardens.
Actually, you didn't, because that only happens if you used the Dalish
elf origin and this game's backstory uses a human noble playthrough
(elves are homo).
Some time passes and we overhear a scuffle:
Errors made by characters (possibly incompetence by the gamemakers):
Athenril says that her men have already gone missing when she hires
Hawke, however when Hawke arrives at the docks later that night, a small
boy has just been attacked by a trash mob of bandits.
Valerie isn't even listening to this little shithead as her attention is drawn by the sweet sweet loot.
(His mom's dead. Oops!)
Cry me a river, bitch.
What a coincidence, I don't care what you're going to do now!