Monday, November 21, 2011

Big Gaider Is Watching

Valerie decides she's done enough work helping other shitloards and now its time to start looking out for number one. Let's break into our ancestral home.
Fortunately, we have the key to get past this collapsed pile of rubble!

Enraged at the gall of people actually living in the house that is rightfully theirs, the Hawke sisters slaughter everyone in their path. The residents quickly realize that this is linked to Gamlen somehow.

I knew I should have uninstalled this game.

Unfortunately, you're not really given the choice to go off and slaughter trash mobs on the Wounded Coast upon leaving the estate, otherwise I would have done it sheerly as a passive aggressive protest against the plot railroad I'm on.

So Valerie returns home to find Gamlen hitting up mom for some cash.
what do you mean you forgot the chicken nuggets

Yes, imagine what we could do with Gamlen's assets! Do you know how much moldy cheese and pubic lice are worth at a darktown pawn shop?

I don't know if it's so much "he forgave you" as "he realized his son was a complete fuckup".

As a dedicated Gorean, the concept of an empowered woman is shattering all of Gamlen's preconceptions about the nature of reality.

Speak for yourself, mom. No time for love when there's a deep roads expedition on the line.

Valerie only says this because she knows that's exactly how she'd play it if she was in Gamlen's place.

Mom, your own family can barely put up with your whining, do you really think it's going to work on the Viscount?

Get started standing around the house while your daughters do everything.

I'm surprised Bioware didn't use this as obvious foreshadowing that Bethany would become the primary antagonist for the game, but I guess (and I can't believe I'm typing this...) that's a little too cliche even for David Gaider.
Because believe me, I would screw you over in a second.

Whatever, don't care.

But they'd be so proud of their spree-killing alcoholic pickpocket!

It's bad enough to play the game, but to be berated by the characters? My self-esteem, already fragile from the repeated abuse inflicted upon me, shattered at this point. It was then that I realized I had won the victory over myself. I loved Big Bioware.

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