This thread is no longer acceptable.
It veers off topic more than a drunk fishtails on a back country road. Posting is crap, effort is flaccid, and frankly the LP itself defines mediocrity in new and tepid ways. Much like Dragon Age 2, this thread is filler. It is white noise. It is a radio tuned to an obscure AM channel playing day opera radio serials in a language you've never heard. It makes sense only because it speaks the universal lingua franca of failure. How fitting.
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Get Out Of Here A.N.D.E.R.S. pt.2
So we're off to find the grey warden turned healer in darktown. After
killing a bunch of "highwaymen" that happened to be hanging out in an
abandoned mine, we finally stumbled across the darktown free clinic.
I was going to make a joke about Ye Console Doth Sucketh poster and
Permabanned Pedophile "The Eye of Andraste" here, but there's another
update it'll work better for.
Anders sees Hawke and suddenly realizes that it wasn't a horrible nightmare and he is indeed in Dragon Age 2.
LEAVE MY HAPPY HOUSE! LEEEEEEAVE! WHYYYYY?! WHYYYY?!
Heh, yeah, I'm all about "taint" if you know what I mean...
between this, Barkspawn the dog and Boo the miniature giant space hamster, Bioware loving loves their monkeycheese pets.
Funny, I'd die a happy man if I never had to play this game again.
I'll do it... for a pri- wait, did he already use that one? Fuck.
The "realistic mabari testicles" mod would disagree with you there.
"Or I could kill you and take the maps. That could work too." (No it
couldn't. Can't have these fuckshit players ruining my character arcs.)
Personally, I don't want to give the game another reason to take longer to complete.
So we head to the chantry at night. God this is so tedious.
Well, I'm sure there's no templars in the goddamn church either, so let's just barge right in!
Yeah I didn't see anyone suspicious out here either apart from the 3 mages,
the chick in full plate armor and the one with 2 gigantic fuckoff knives
strapped to her back.
Oh phew, I was worried I was actually going to have to make dialogue
choices in the upcoming conversation. What a load off my mind!
So we get inside and go upstairs and find Karl.
But something's wrong!
"What's with that monotone voice?! That's not the sassy Karl I know and love!"
So a little backstory: he's a tranquil, which means he's been magically
lobotomized to never feel emotions again so that he can't be possessed
by a demon I guess? Basically the chantry uses these bargain-basement
Mr. Datas as slave labor to enchant items that they then sell for church
Anders is shocked and horrified that his first boyfriend has lost the
flamboyant, devil-may-care attitude that so drew him to Karl. (This is
canon, if you play as a male Hawke then Anders talks about how he lost
his virginity to Karl.)
Also, pay attention to Anders' eyebrows. They're one of the best parts of this game.
Shot through the heart, and you're to blame; Karl you give love a bad name
So all of a sudden, Anders' voice drops about 3 octaves and he starts glowing blue.
And then we slaughtered a trash mob of templars in a zero-effort fight.