Sunday, December 25, 2011

In Dreams I Snark With You pt.2

We head into the Fade and suddenly Valerie notices Anders is looking a little different:
Dude, you think the empty air is bad? What about the empty water? No high fructose corn syrup anywhere; I seriously gag trying to finish a glass of it.

Yeah, we also met when you killed a shitload of templars, remember that?

That's not Feynriel, that's me. I'm straining to contain the gigglesquees.

So this is a spinning intangible book flying around the room. If you touch it while it's solid, you get +1 to any stat. There's puzzles that will give you more stat boosts, but they're apparently glitched out and impossible to complete in version 1.00 and I only upgraded to 1.02 for act 3 when Merrill's companion quest sequence-broke to the end the first time I talked to her.

So we head into the main room of Feynriel's mind-home and encounter this dapper gent:
Also, it's rare to encounter a geth character model in 2 different franchises.

I have a proposition too. It's called "I kill you and take the xp".

(Last known photo of fade resident "Torpor" before suspect Valerie Hawke allegedly shoved 2 daggers in his stomach, gutting him.)

So we continue onwards and find 2 doors.
Let's check the sexy door first.

Valerie steps through, expecting a room full of naked elven bitches.
Your mom? Feynriel, you kinky motherfucker!

Just lookin' for a daddy figure to teach me how to j/o, no gay stuff.

This is the lamest desire ever.

I don't give a shit. Oops, wait, that's a demon.

In her defense, everyone's ashamed of Feynriel, including the writing staff at Bioware.

Yeah, considering that Feynriel's never really met his dad it's kinda weird how his "memory" is an exact replica of his dad you meet in act 1 right down to the shitty puss in boots from Shrek accent goddamn I fucking hate Antivans.

Surprise, daddy doesn't like it when you talk back!

Also he's a chick!

Why can't you just allow a transsexual to adopt children, you bigoted fuck?


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