Thursday, February 23, 2012

This Is Our Last Dance, This Is Ourselves... Under Gaider

Well, this is it. the final battle is almost upon us. This might be our last day on Thedas, so Valerie might as well take this opportunity to say her final goodbyes.

Alcohol is the only thing left that still matters in Valerie's life.

Cool, hopefully this conversation will be mercifully short, then.

Varric, we ARE dangerous people and we've been running amok for like 8 years now.

Everything already went wrong, it's called "this game".

I hate it when anyone says anything.

It feels like a nightmare, except I can't wake up.



Actually Merrill was gonna say she summoned like 15 demons to help out, but that can wait until later I guess.

Emile? But you have a wife and child waiting for you, don't throw it all away!

Isn't it ironic? Just a little bit? Don't you think?

If you weren't so booze-dicked back in act 2 she could have led you to get some strange, but looks like Anders beat you to the punch bro.

Seriously what's another dozen trash mobs or so?

Only the players know tedium.

God I hope you die

Not really, I only got Aveline to like 40% friendship, max.

Damn, I was psyched up to kill him too.

Valerie slurred, whiskey on her breath as she narrowed her bloodshot eyes.

I'm starting to doubt that anyone who made this game should ever work in the industry again.

Valerie gives Aveline a blank stare while thinking about how much she wants to salt the ashes of Kirkwall.

Yeah, that was pretty awesome, wasn't it?

Sultry Female Romance mod is back baby, in a big fucking way.

Well, it was this or you dying in the deep roads, so yeah.

Ha ha! The writing in this game is bad.

Nope, that would imply character development something this game has thoroughly demonstrated the writers have no conception of.

Oh no, you blew up a church. how can I ever forgive you? *vigilante murders the entire criminal population of Darktown 20 times over*

Yeah, Valerie's basically hit bottom at this point, so pulling a geographic sounds pretty damn good right about now.

Okay whoa, we never discussed kids here.

But love, love will tear us apart again...

This entire goddamn game is meaningless.

1 comment:

  1. Why do they always say "Good point"? No one has ever had a good point this entire game or any other the phrase has ever been uttered.

    And yes Anders, committing an act of terrorism against the world's main religious institution, provoking genocide and sparking all-out war is surely going to make the world better for mages everywhere. Christ, what a pillock.