Thursday, February 2, 2012

Cure Yourself By Rubbing Feces Into The Wounds

Working with Antivans always leaves a bad taste in Valerie's mouth. So sleazy, so disrespectful of her as a beautiful independent woman who don't need no man. Time to check in on someone who really knows how to treat a lady.

Unfortunately, the Arishok left the city 3 years ago, so we've got to settle for Anders.

Anders, Anders, stop being so Puritan. Everyone experiments when they're younger, no need to beat yourself up about it.

Me Fenris me hate magic Cave Smith

Beheading the victim is so much easier though.

I dont give a shit either way unless there's loot involved.

Oh cool I love losing half of a party member's unique skillset.

I notice they're still acting like anything in this game poses a challenge.

Unfortunately, I cannot say the same for this game.

That doesn't even make sense.


I'm gonna need some ammonium nitrate fertilizer and some fuel oil.

Actually it really kind of doesn't, but thanks for the foreshadowing.

Oh those Tevinters, always sacrificing to the dark gods!

Hey, even if there is that's what we've got Merrill around for.

Alright, sela petrae seems to be nearby, let's head over and get that-
Oh. Guess that was where the other Templars were. Welp, that's another sidequest done with.

It's a well known fact that fecal matter is rich in magical mineral deposits.


Oh look. A trash mob. Because no quest would be complete without one.

Damn, between sela petrae and lyrium the Kirkwall sewers could probably be a more profitable mine than the Bone Pit!

Well, at least it's in a mildly clean location.

Ugh, of course one wouldn't be good enough for you.

Okay I don't even know why they're bothering to smuggle lyrium, because given the number of criminals in the sewers it's obvious that jenkem's where the real money's at in Kirkwall.

Ugh, I am digging for minerals directly beneath an outhouse. You know what? Fuck you, Anders. Find the drakestone yourself.


  1. Funny, I missed the foreshadowing in the dialogue for this quest first time around. Whether that was because I was just mashing buttons to skip through the scene because by Act III I was in "whatever, lets just finish this game" mode, or whether I didn't have the faith in the writers/writing to even use a writing technique as blatantly professional as "foreshadowing", I can't quite say.

    But I assumed it was just an unconnected, innocuous fetchquest (with trash mobs) to slightly grind up a NPC's Friendship Level. After all, there's so much of that in the game already...

  2. You know, the most common source of saltpeter, even into the 19th century, was bat guano. So look on the bright side, they could have made you go back to the one cave in the game again.