Sunday, February 5, 2012

But Thou Must!

Alright, we've got a letter asking us to head over to the Circle of Magi, so let's go take care of that.
Look at this tranquil bitch and her wack Uncle Tom ass. Anders is getting upset!

Hey, this looks familiar... oh that's right, it's the environment they recycled for the fade back when we went into Feynriel's dreams!

Forget about the knight-commander, baby, let's talk about you. Have I mentioned that mark of tranquility branded into your forehead really brings out your beautiful eyes?

Wish I could say the same for you, Valerie, but those knife fingers on your gloves? Major fashion faux pas.

Wow, I don't know how they could dream of leaving someone as lovable as you behind.

And you thought Valerie would do this for you because?


Outright refusing the quest? Sorry, the Gaider/Hepler plot express train ain't slowing down now!

I'm getting ready to hang myself.

I don't know what Meredith expects to persuade Valerie if her mother being murdered by a blood mage didn't do the job.

Meredith doesn't even dignify Anders with a response.

Ah, my beguiling little lobotomized temptress. How long I have waited to be alone with you.

Business before pleasure? I understand, but don't think you can keep me waiting forever.

Okay, so we've got a domestic disturbance on the rez,

Suspected drunk and disorderly over on the strip,

And gang-related activity in the slums. over.

Can I get a 10-4 on that gang related?

Shots fired, I repeat, shots fired. Officers down. Over.

Roger, dispatch. Over and out.

The only ones who're gonna need luck are the skips, because I am the Hawke! The biiiiig bad Haaaawke!


  1. "What? You sided with the mages at the start of Act III? And then you killed a bunch of Templars?
    Well, Meredith is still going to hire you. And no, an abomination (whom you bang) and a blood mage in your active party are not an excuse. Now go and watch--I mean, play, my stupendous story." ~ David Gaider

    1. If you side with the Templars, Orsino hires you first.

    2. Oh, so this is the "our side is actually good, please join us kthx" quest?

  2. Can a Mage Hawke side with the Templars throughout the game? If so, how the fuck?

    1. Easily, See the game ignores that really obvious "The only reason the Warden was allowed to do whatever the fuck he wanted was BECAUSE he was a Warden"

      You know when you think about it, Anders is dumber than he seems! He doesn't have to explain he's leaving the Wardens and he can just rock up to Circles of Magi, say that he's recruiting mages, point out that really the Templars CAN'T do shit to him or stand in his way (especially since the Wardens are still replenishing their numbers) and just Woop Woop Woop off with the Mages.

      Then he just sends those mages off to the Wardens, or lets them roam free I don't know.

  3. Yep. You can make a blood mage Hawke who's a staunch Templar supporter and nobody gives a shit. Also, Hawke gets to be a Viscount on a Templar run. Blood mage Viscount, that's right. For extra fun you can chew Merrill for being a despicable blood mage all the time and she never calls you out.