Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Hawke The Bounty Hunter: Epilogue

Well, 2 out of 3 dead, let's go give Meredith the good news.
Yes, I'm sure you're quite torn up about your complicity in this.

Meredith is merciless when it comes to sexhavers.

Yeah, he'll absolutely slay the pussy with a lil' more training in PUA and the Mystery Method.

Sociopathy, on the other hand, is a fucking laugh riot, and Valerie's living proof!

You were already gonna do that. Ladies can't resist the bald spot/bowlcut

Apropos of nothing, Valerie decides to do a rapid 180 and change the course of the conversation to what a piece of shit Meredith is.

It's cool how you can just openly talk shit to the most powerful people in Kirkwall and they just sigh and go like, oh, I can't do anything about it, the Champion of Kirkwall can say whatever they like...

It's funny because these are the same arguments you hear about Mass Effect 3.

Unfortunately, I have the patience to continue this update.

So we exit the Chantry.
The Game. Which you just lost. Owned!

God I wish this was ending, there's still 1200+ screenshots to go.

Not if our loveable party of scamps has anything to say about it!

Vladmir fucking Nabokov could not make this a good story.

Anyway, now that Emile's fate is settled, let's head over to Hightown and give the de Launcets the good news. But wait, who's this?
What a shocking turn of events!

Damn, Emile likes it rough. Good to know. Oh wait, not it's not Bee Puke

Ummmmm, haven't you ever heard of EPT, the error proof test?

Damn, I wonder if this chick likes to fuck as much as Isabela? (That's not possible, Isabela LOVES to fuck, folks!)

This foul language is giving Comtesse de Launcet the vapors.

He's a socially retarded mage locked up in the circle tower. She's a whore. Together they are Kirkwall's most dysfunctional marriage!

I dunno, she must be on the rag or something. Women, am I right fellas?

18 years, 18 years
She got one of yo' kids, got you for 18 years
Now I ain't sayin' she a gold hoarder
But she ain't messin with dog lorder
-Kanye Hawke, Sovereign Digger


  1. Fun fact: there is actually a good (by this game's standards) reason why Meredith hates mages. It's just never addressed in the main quests until you do so and so in this and another mission.

    On a sidenote, is anyone having problem viewing the updates in Chrome?

  2. From
    "In the Dragon Age, most mages in Thedas belong to the Circle of Magi. As such, they are taken from their families while still children, and **highborn children who are able to use magic will lose all claims to their family's estates and titles when they are taken to the Circle**."

    She won't be Lady anything. Bioware doesn't care, do they?

    1. Well lets see. In DA:O the main fear that Isolde has is that they wont be able to hide Connor from the Templars, even though she's a frigging ARLESSA.

      Meanwhile the Hawkes, a rather ordinary family, can go about hiding up to two children raised into adult hood as mages, and think the only thing they need to hide the fact they are mages is money and status.

      In short? No. Bioware doesn't give a damn about their own established canon.

  3. Oh hey, we're getting close to wrapping up aren't we? Also, I like how their family is stupid enough to fall for her tricks. Much like our dear "blood mage". Then again, he might just have given her crabs or something, having lied about not being with ladies before.