Monday, February 13, 2012

The Earth Died Gigglesqueeing pt.1

Alright, we all know that the best way to make accusations of incompetence go away is to murder your accuser, so that's one problem down. but wait! Merrill seems to want something from us!
Pfeh, shoddy Dalish engineering, man. you'd never have these kind of problems if you had just bought a demon mirror from Tevinter.


You can make numerous deals with demons in order to gain approval with Merrill and Hawke will still say this.


It's as much of a plan as "Hey, can you distract the Reverend Mother of the Chantry while I go do something that I won't explain to you aside from making vague assurances that it will further the cause of mages but also possibly result in a lot of death even though you never actually mentioned anyone dying DON'T YOU TRUST ME I THOUGHT WE LOVED EACH OTHER" and you didn't have any problem with that one.

Aside from the countless bandits, raiders, slavers, dog lords, templars and qunari you've killed, you mean?

Yeah, it's a relief that big sister Val will always be here to clean up after you once you shit yourself like the babbling simpleton you are.

Agreed, but also this game.

We get to Sundermount and the welcoming committee is out in full force!
Oh yeah I never posted the screenshots, but 3 years ago the templars wanted to stomp the fuck out of the Dalish for keeping Feynriel there. Valerie talked them down by saying "hey, if Feynriel gets possessed all he's gonna do here is kill some dirty knife ears" and then the templars were like "oh yeah, good point, don't want any humans dying" so crisis averted. Remember kids, racism can save your life!

We're on act 3 out of 3, I'm pretty sure your "business" is gonna be "done" by the end of this quest.

Please say we get to kill her.

Good thing for the viewing audience that Dean Winchester of tv's supernatural didn't take this advice, haha! Now streaming on Netflix, folks!

This is also the only cure from playing this game.

I said the same thing after I uninstalled this game and deleted the iso.

-Apparently no one, to David Gaider, at any point. Alternately, no one, to Chris Avellone, after reading the design document for Dead Money.

You've gone through this whole game and so far only this is pointless? I wish I had your naivete.

And now: two completely obstinate morons butt heads.


And now: two completely obstinate morons butt heads.

Well, this seems like a completely innocuous name for a dark and gloomy cave, I'm sure everything will be fine once we step inside.

See? Absolutely NOTHING sinister in here!


  1. Is it me, or did the textures improve in this update?'s probably me.

  2. I liked Dead Money for the story (level design was kind of shit though), now Lonesome Road? That was a terrible story to put in a sandbox game.

  3. Hey, now you're just being mean to Dead Money's geography, it wasn't that...bad...well, what I want to say it was, like, really...very pretty? I mean, that green lighting really brought out the dark red of the Cloud...yeah.


    Okay, so it was a rat maze, but still it does not deserve to be mentioned in the same context as anything DA2.