Hawke The Bounty Hunter pt.3

Alright, 2 mages down, one to go. Let's go to Darktown and give this templar-killer what she deserves. (A parade. Kill all cops.)

Oh my god everything in Kirkwall is so fucking brown.

Nice pubestache, retard.

Wow, way to be close-minded Valerie. Gender is just a social construct after all, whose to say this pubestached teen can't be a sultry female blood mage on the inside?

She's a pretty negligent parent if she didn't teach you how to shave, dipshit.

Man, Valerie had to work for Athenril for a year and these little dipshits just waltz right in with an apostate? The templar are right, close the borders to the Free Marches.

I miss the precious free time I spent playing this game. Neither of us are getting back what we want, kiddo.

That might have something to do with the Fereldan circle BEING OVERRUN BY BLOOD MAGES.

To be fair, that's pretty much the treatment Valerie was expecting to get when she arrived.

I'm surprised the Bioware writing staff even understands the abstract concept of shame.

SHAVE YOUR FUCKING 'STACHE

Because we sure didn't run into any blood mages while we were rooting in human shit for magic rocks a few hours ago.

You can really see the terror on his face here.

Um, dude? If I looked like you I'd try to avoid publicly chasing after a small child.

In the sewer: trash mobs.

And then Merrill's retarded wack ass set off a fire trap so I had to stand around for several minutes waiting for the flames to die down before I could proceed.

Deeper in the sewer, we run into some familiar faces:

You're doing a real great job at hiding.

The first rule of Bioware writer's room is you do not talk about writing. The second rule of the Bioware writer's room is you do not talk about writing. If this is your first night, you have to write. Tonight's prompt is a Carth/Zevran slashfic.

The Hawke family has a lot of experience running from violent madwomen, because Valerie is an angry drunk when she's got a good binge going.

Is a dog lord not entitled to the sweat of his brow?

Something tells me all these kids need to keep themselves entertained is a shiny object on a string.

I guess she exploded when we killed her? I don't really understand what's happening in this screenshot.

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.

Valerie Hawke is all about compassion.