Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Merrill & Lynch: Doglord Days

Dear Keeper, I've been trying to write you this letter for fourteen years. Today's my last chance. This afternoon I will pay for my mistakes with my life. It's only fair. As you know if you've read the papers, my life as a mercenary and all the pain I've caused, most of it is true. I should regret it all, I should be scared of dying, but I'm not. I can't anymore. The only feeling I have left is regret, regret that I'll never get to know you. You are all that matters. Sorry I never understood. Your First, Merrill.
That was great, we got away!

Great? What the fuck happened back there?!

I told ya, the gas mask was hot and I-

So you kill everyone?!

Listen to me, it was really warm, I couldn't see. And the police were everywhere... I'm telling you they were swarming!

But why did you kill the hostages?

Why? What do you mean? They were waking up, they wouldn't stay still I just tried to stop them.

You want some? I'LL FUCKIN' GIVE YA SOME! Goddamn son of a bitch, fuck...Get away from me. Why do you keep doin' that? Stupid fuck...WHAT ARE YOU LOOKIN' AT? Is that all you got?!

Stop you're only faking it! Fake this, UNDERSTOOD!

You should have let me talk to them!





Don't fuckin' talk to me! You just get your shit together, you hear me?

Well at least we got away.

Nobody gets away with what you just did!

I can't...

What, now you suddenly can't kill dalish?

No I mean... fuck, what happened back there?
You mean you don't remember?

Aw oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, why do I always fuck up?!

Merrill, I need your help here, snap the fuck out of it!

How many did I kill?
More than you wanna know.

Dammit! I have black outs, I get violent and it gets so fucking horrible afterwards! I thought could control it but I can't, I can't. Just need a few of these.

Those ain't exactly ulcer pills are they?


  1. ... wait, did you seriously just murder Merrill's entire clan?

    1. I was worried that Big Daddy Qun had finally snapped, but then I recalled that "Kane and Lynch 2" does basically communicate all concepts through rampart swearing. And murder.

    2. This is actually from the heist sequence and getaway in Kane & Lynch: Dead Men.

  2. Oh, so the blame is entirely the "flat eared bitch"'s, not the, you know, possessed gigglesqueetard's.
    Also, Merrill slaughtering her entire clan and then going "maybe I should stop living for them"...what the hell does that even mean?
    What's even worse is that now every Dalish in the game is dead, EXCEPT the one whom everyone wants to kill (save the Gaider).

    1. I love that the elves and humans both have slurs for each other that refer to the shape of their ears. Then again, I don't think we've heard humans use "knife-ear" in this game, so maybe the elves "took it back" so now only they can say it. I wouldn't put it past these writers.

    2. Knife-Ear got used in the pedophile serial killer quest in act 1. Also, the "flat-eared bitch" is Merrill, because the only way to avoid having to kill the entire clan is for Hawke to claim responsibility for everything.

    3. Wait, what?
      If Merrill takes the blame, then everyone goes postal and you have to kill them, but if Hawke takes the blame, then everything is a-ok?

    4. Yep!

      (Contrary to the recurring theme of DA2, this trash mob/fight where you wipe out Merril's clan IS avoidable with the right dialogue choice. Consistent with the recurring theme of DA2, however, the dialogue choice that leads to this non-violent solution makes no logical sense).