Friday, January 6, 2012

Die Tranquillosung pt.2

How cute, Fenris thinks we're going to leave survivors.

Actually, I'm here to prove die tranquillosung is a lie perpetrated by der Ritterkommander's enemies to justify the creation of the false state of Tevinter.

And so our intrepid party descends into cave template #2.

You could always try fighting back when they try to lobotomize you, y'know.

It wouldn't be a quest without trash mobs!

The yey has left San Lores de Perro.

But wait, what's that through the door?

Indict them for perjury?

You're a mage, it's pretty fucking obvious they're taking you to the circle tower.

Dude, there's 5 of them. We can take them.

This is some Ralph Fiennes in Schindler's List shit right here.

I have to give Bioware credit that they didn't follow through on their first impulse to have Alrik say "That's right, I'm going to rape you! RAPE. I LOVE RAPE! I'M EVIL AS HELL, FOLKS!"

Cool Hawke and a dolphin in "quit gettin' mad at mages"

I thought Hawke was the most famous person in Kirkwall?

Justice wanted to cut everyone's hands off as an ironic punishment, but Valerie convinced him it'd just be easier to kill everyone.

Try as he might to shield himself with other templars clipping through his body, Alrik falls to Valerie's blades.

But wait, what's this letter?
"Looks like your 'tranquil solution' wasn't quite the 'holocaust' you were hoping for, haha!"
-Actual dialogue from Sebastian Vael, The Exiled Prince DLC (written by Jennifer Brandes Hepler, "valued employee" of Bioware recently forced to delete her Twitter due to online bullying.)

Hell yeah bro, metal as fuck Rock on!

Uh, Anders, I have some news for you... that burning sensation? It's not "justice".

Why doesn't anyone understand that my vigilante killing sprees are for the good of society Alvash

Oh man, I think there's a moral crisis coming up...

Justice is getting ready to make like Thurman Thomas on her head when suddenly-

Anders is so overcome with grief his eyebrow begins sloughing off his face.

Agreed *clicks "quit"*

No comments:

Post a Comment