Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Where Were You When The Towers Fell?


This is it. This is what we've all been waiting for.
The Last Straw? More like the last questline. Booyah!

Who are you again?

I imagine this was just said with a tone of weary resignation. That's how it feels to me.

It's pretty cool that we're going into endgame and this is what pops up on a loading screen. Really heightens the sense of urgency.

Looks like someone didn't read the full text of the LOYALIST Act before signing it in!

It seems only Valerie Hawke can get away with quipping in this town.

But Orsino's making a valiant effort...

Fortunately, the master's here to show you how it's really done.

That's never stopped Valerie before now!

Actually, Valerie's the one who wiped out the entire trash mob population of Kirkwall.

There's no protection from stupidity in this game.

Seriously, what in god's name would lead Meredith to think that Valerie would back her up?

Uninstalling this game.

She says this this despite the fact that every NPC mage in the game ends up being a blood mage.

The real villains here are the writing staff.

Holy SHIT that cannot be comfortable.

Funny you should mention that...

Why, whatever could you mean, Anders?

What's about to happen is really going to help your case here.

And we know the best way to convince people is by doing your whole glowing blue murder machine thing.

Agreed *loads a pickup truck with fertilizer and drives to Edmonton*

Thank god, does that mean no more reusing environments? (No.)


MAGE NINE ELEVEN, MAGE NINE ELEVEN, MAGE NINE ELEVVVVVVVENNNNN, MAGE NINE ELEVEN!

And then Knight-Commander Meredith invaded Tevinter in response to mage 9/11. Four More Years!

7 comments:

  1. And thus, bioware finally revealed Anders' canonical last name.

    MacVeigh.

    ReplyDelete
  2. "Meredith! You are wrong in thinking every mage is a corrupted nutjob!" *shows signs of possession and blows up the one person who could keep Meredith from committing magicide*

    The next update is going to feature Gaider-quality moral dilemmas and even MORE incompetence. I can't wait! <3

    ReplyDelete
  3. Where were you when the (Dragon Age) Two Let's Play fell. Will we ever snark again?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Lo behold! About an hour to the end, something significant finally happens in this game. And by significant I mean "retconned to shit and back in the next installment of this franchise".

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "Wait, you said the mages and templars started fighting after Anders blew up the Chantry..." - Inquisitor
      "That was just a metaphor." - Varric

      Delete
  5. Oh, and remember that one quest line that equated the mages to Jews?

    Welp!

    ReplyDelete