The Valerie Hawke Get Your Friends Laid Show pt.2

Every quest is for ill in this game.

The undisguised contempt Valerie has for Aveline throughout this quest is awesome.

Not a problem.

At least all the errand boy quests in this phase of the quest only require you to go from one room to another.

"You're under arrest for making my pussy too wet."

Off the record, on the QT, and strictly hush-hush.

 

Who wouldn't want Valerie around, she's the life of the party.

Here's a hint: it'll be a wacky misunderstanding of your intent.

So Valerie posts the new patrols and Brennan immediately bolts for the board.

Grease my butthole, dude.

I hope this means that Valerie gets to do a warehouse quest on the docks to fill in for Donnic.

I don't think you need to check your eyes when it's pretty clearly written down right there on the board.

WHAT A WACKY MISUNDERSTANDING!

The Valerie Hawke Get Your Friends Laid Show pt,1

Get ready because we're gonna embark on one of the most epic quests of the game.

Naturally, Valerie can barely contain her enthusiasm.

This is one of the longest quests in the game.

It's not.

But then again, you know what they say: the stronger the qun-qun, the sweeter the nari-nari!!!

What a coincidence! I regret this as well.

As long as there's gold and/or experience points in it for me.

The only thing "strangely difficult" here is figuring out why anyone at Bioware thought this was a good idea for an incredibly lengthy quest.

Alright, let's go check in on the man with the sideburns.

Yeah, Gamlen's a piece of shit. You don't really need to tiptoe around it.

Probably not.

what the fuck

Donnic's face is literally warping its own geometry he's so perplexed.

Okay, dude? The people's eyebrow? Really not working for you.

Yeah, so do I, but I decided to get the really unimportant shit out of the way first.

Psst, Isabela: you always look like an idiot.

Goddamn I Want To Fuck+Cum In That Bioware Babe

And now, a couple vignettes from the Hanged Man:

Merrill learns to play poker

She pulls this shit on Merrill because she knows anybody else in the party would slit her throat.

Mine now, bitches! Later!

Even Isabela is above tricking the mentally handicapped out of things. (Unless it's their virginity, but that's a whole other story... (The story is that Isabela is a slut.))

Isabela gets a present

I don't know about y'all, but this is NOT what I want to hear when I whip it out. Just kidding, I wouldn't know. I've never touched a woman, I write for Bioware; and I'm a goon!

Okay, it's actually a ship in a bottle or some shit.

Hey baby, here's a portrait of you. Getting gangbanged. Hope you like it.

 

Hard to believe folks, but this big titty babe loves to get fucked in every hole of her voluptuous ethnic body!

Oh yeah, she's "full" of "thoughts" all right... thoughts of fuckin'! SPOILER: Isabela is a slut.